


Their Kindness is Charade

by antibanana



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben/Kylo Ren is 28, Daddy Kink, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't Like Don't Read, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Forced Orgasm, Frottage, Gaslighting, High School Student Rey, I have a special place in hell waiting for me, INDEFINITE HIATUS, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Incest, Manipulation, Memory Alteration, Minor Original Character(s), Naked Female Clothed Male, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Obsessive Behavior, POV Rey (Star Wars), Possessive Behavior, Public Blow Jobs, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rey is 16, Sadism, Sexual Abuse, Sibling Incest, Successful Older Brother Ben, Torture, Underage - Freeform, Violence, finger banging, please mind the tags, the first chapter is super graphic and explicit, this is my first dark fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-06-23 14:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15608517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antibanana/pseuds/antibanana
Summary: After years of torment, a local politician’s daughter, Reychelle “Rey” Solo, attacks her bully, and lands her in a media frenzy. With no one to turn to, she flees to Malibu and finds solace in her generous and understanding older brother, Ben. For the first time in her young life, Rey feels cherished, until the moment Ben’s brotherly fondness turns into a dangerous fixation.





	1. It's used to sedate

**Author's Note:**

> MIND THE TAGS

 

 **I** have been on my knees for so long, I feel them bruising from the weight of me. I am all out of tears, and all I can hear is my heaving. I feel someone kiss all over my sweaty forehead. A warm hardness brushes against my face. I’m tired, I’m done. Please. _Please stop_.

My eyes are sore. My body is struggling to stay up. I feel the dabbing of a cool, damp towel on my forehead and it feels nice. I want to go to bed. _I want to go home._

 I wish I never came here.

I blink and Ben’s face comes to view. “Tired already? It’s only seven o’clock.”

Ben clicks his tongue, then pout at me as he gently tucks my hair behind my ears. I shiver as he runs his fingers through each trail of tears on my face a few times until he reaches my cum covered lips. Tracing my lips, his finger collects his cum. He's eyeing my quivering lips like a snack while giving me a smile of twisted pleasure.

"This was too easy. I knew it was only a matter of time when you realize that our bitch of a mother is in fact,  _a bitch of a mother."_

 Still smiling, he rubs the wetness into the skin of my jaw. "I just had to sit back, and wait for you to come to me, like the needy little sister I've always remembered." His voice is as soothing as he is sinister.

“I saw you reading Chuck Palahniuk, the other day.” His other hand moves to my cheek and I flinch. Ben’s fingers caress it as gently as he recounts, “The one about the pornstar with the world record? You really shouldn’t be reading that type of literature, Rey. Nonetheless, I found a few beautiful lines from it. I think it rings true... For the both of us.”

I topple on my side as Ben worms two fingers in me, while his thumb immediately rolls on my clit. I try to resist the illicit pleasure throbbing from between my thighs. He leans in and rubs his nose on mine. “Would you like to hear them, Rey?"

I shake my head but he comes close enough so I can hear him, and he can hear me panting. His fingers swim inside me as he whispers Palahniuk in my ear. “It only takes one mistake and nothing else you ever do will matter…”

I try to move away from him, but he follows quickly, causing his fingers to dig deeper inside me and I collapse on my back. My eyes roll to the back of my head. He gets on top of me as I attempt to wiggle away, and slam my bound wrists hard on his front. He suddenly drops his entire weight on me, and I am flat on my back, wheezing painfully. _Get the fuck off me!_ Ben grinds his hard dick on me while forcing his fingers deeper into me, nails scraping my flesh. I writhe in pain. He’s breathing hard. “No matter how hard -ah - you work or how - fucking - how --smart you become, you'll always be known for that one poor choice.”

Ben’s movements becomes more urgent and sporadic. My legs kick out when I feel his fingers prodding up near my cervix. I wince from pain and sickening pleasure. I try to focus on the sound of the tides ebbing and flowing. I try to focus on the memory of my brother when I first arrived - warm, understanding, safe. I try to remember that my brother loves me. Oh god. I hope he loves me enough to stop. 

“Rey,” he calls, hysteric - he’s close to coming. “Rey, we should put it in you this time.” I feel the sound of sloshing as he pulls his fingers out and align his dick to my entrance. I panic, thrashing, weakly banging my forearms against him. 

“Stop! Stop it... Ben!” I find my voice. He drives inside me and starts thrusting. I scream in pain while he sighs in delicious pleasure. I continue to shove him and scream but I get cut off when he chokes me suddenly.

“Rey -- Shh… Listen.” I hear the floorboards creaking under me, the sound of my skin slapping against the wood, and the sound of the back of my head thumping. My vision gets spotty and just when I feel myself turning purple from the pressure on my throat, he starts to let go slowly as he furiously fucks me. I struggle with confounding feelings of shame and delight, sobbing. I try to squeeze his wrist, but instead I stop when the tip of him hits a spot that sends me soaring - I close my tired eyes. I find myself swimming in sick pleasure and disgust. _I’m sure I’m gonna die like this. With my brother inside me, and my last words would be his name._  

“ _How_ ...How the damaged-... _Fuck_!” I clench around Ben’s cock and twitch as I feel a burning spread across my body. Ben finishes inside me, and instead of pulling out, he drills in me deeper, and laughs when I moan loudly.

He affectionately brushes the wet hair from my face and gives me a sloppy kiss on the forehead. Horrified, I watch as Ben’s finger reach between us to take our come and draw a heart on my cheek with it. He brings his lips to my ears and finishes the quote, “How the damaged loves the damaged. True fact.”

 

_Oh, it couldn’t be truer._

 

My body feels like it’s fire - burning from the inside out. I hope that it can cleanse me.


	2. They remain unashamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> girl-on-girl crime/ violence ahead

**I’m** at the precipice of a novel when I feel the outdoor lunch table jerk from the force of some girl’s body. I look up as I pull my earbuds out. I see Kaydel and her pack of mean girls closing in on the girl on the verge of tears. I get up from my seat to help the girl stand. It’s Rose Tico, and for the past few days since she transferred to this hellhole, Kaydel has been nothing but downright cruel to her. And no one has done anything to stop her.

 

No one dares to. Her dad is running against my mom for senator. Plus her dad is super rich - old money from banking - so yeah, I guess she’d just sue your ass or her dad will just pay you to shut up.

 

“I guess weirdos attract weirdos,” Kaydel lazily tilts her head in my direction. Her words mean shit to me. She’s been at it for years. For reasons I still don’t know and understand.

 

Rose is a mess from their tussle and she keeps looking around, and her eyes land on mine. She’s a whiz kid in physics. I see her around campus, with Paige, and I can tell she cares for her older sister deeply. A caricature of good. Rose is pretty, petite and kind. Maybe that’s why my friend, Finn likes her so much.

 

Kaydel looks at us then the tall brunette next to her. “Hey, Jessica, do you think ineptitude is hereditary?”

 

Rose spits back, “My sister is not inept! She’s handicapped! Learn the fucking difference.” That earns her a solid smack. She shrinks back behind me.

 

Satisfied, Kaydel assess that she’s done for the day. She and her friends start to walk away, when I grab her by her collar. I don’t know what came over me.

 

“Don’t be a such a fucking ableist, Kaydel, last time I checked - they let you in this school too. Look how far you’ve come. You’re even using last week’s vocabulary on us.” Since when did I become a fucking defender? Strangely enough, this newfound assertiveness is shocking. I like it.

 

Kaydel fumes, and she looks like her mouth is going to unhinge from my backtalk. Her posse does nothing but stare. She closes the gap between us, and tries to deliver her best crazed Anthony Hopkins impression. Menacing eyes on a tiny blonde girl. 

“Why would I care what you think? You’re a nobody from nowhere.”

She shoves me to prove a point - no one, not one person in this quad, is doing anything for me. Even Rose cowered back. Every student here could care less. Horrible things could happen to good people and no one bats an eyelash.

“A dirt -” Shove. “- Poor” Shove. “Charity case.”

I fall on my side, scraping my knee on the concrete. I scowl at her as my fist clench tightly into a ball. Her lips curve up in delight, and I feel all the anger I’ve held in for so long. I remember all the times she’s shoved me on my way to class, tripped me on my way out of the locker room, humiliated me and convinced my parents that it was _my fault_ … 

“Besides...You shouldn’t be talking, Solo - last time I checked, you come from a family of nutjobs.” 

I feel wetness where my fingernails managed to dig through the flesh of my palm. It’s bleeding.

The smirk on Kaydel’s face disappears when I roughly push her to the concrete, and I quickly get the upper hand. I sit on her stomach, and before she can scratch the flesh on my skin, I threw my fists at her. I hear her head thump against the rocky rim of the quad. I punch her again and again. I feel eyes on me but I don’t care. Kaydel grabs my wrists, and shrieking, she overpowers me - wrestling me down until I’m under her. She resorts to pulling my hair with right hand, and putting pressure on my throat with her left forearm - choking me. Kaydel's bracelets dig into my skin.

 

There’s blood on her and I can’t tell if its mine or hers. I struggle under her, her bracelets cut me as I shift, trying to knee her to get her off balance. I see a bunch of shoes in my peripheral, and the larger, sharp rocks that line the perimeter our bodies are tumbling on. I grab one and hit her in the arm. She screams in pain and lets go of me; falling on her butt with her raw palms on her side. I stand tall in front of her, aiming the bloody sharp edge of the rock at her. For the first time ever, Kaydel Connix looks at me scared, bleeding and vulnerable.

A crowd gathers around me, and I drop the sharp rock. She sobs. “You’re fucking insane! Just like your dad!” Tears spilling from her eyes, she blubbers, “And just like your brother!”

I cough and wipe the blood from my nose.

 

It’s a blur after that.

 

***

 

I’ve known that my dad had issues since I was ten years old. Han had his episodes, sometimes still. He’d think I'm his friend Qi’ra, and denying it only made it worse. I go along with it, he’s harmless.  But my brother? I wouldn’t say that. Sure he had a freak out when he was in high school, and abruptly left home for treatment, but it was just general anxiety and stress. He was never crazy. Leia told me so.

I’m recounting this while my mother and Principal Holdo speak in her office. I hear arguing, then other random voices, then silence. Kaydel managed to escape the parent-teacher portion because I really did a number on her. It’s only when I overhear my name and “suspension” in one sentence that I bust in ready to defend myself.

But it’s too late.

The television is on in Principal Holdo’s office, and I’m in shock. It’s only been thirty minutes and my mother - Leia Organa-Solo - is flipping the channels. I’m televised in every news channel my mother flips through, and I see how deranged I look in each of the video clips. I’m scrutinized by adults who don’t know anything! _Dr. Phil calls me “an out of control teen on a rampage.”_  The story is flipped. Kaydel is innocent and I attack her, and her parents gain sympathy votes.

Both my mother and the principal looks at me, disappointed, but all I could think about was Kaydel’s scared and tattered state.

I regret nothing. I am not ashamed.

 

***

 

My mother doesn’t say anything on the whole car ride home. Not even once did she glance at me or asked if I was okay. The blood from the cuts have dried to a dark brown and bruises are starting to form. Security protects us from the sea of strangers surrounding us. I’m tired.

 

Leia breaks her silence first. Oh. Okay. I completely get it, mom. I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel wetness on my face. I wipe it off quickly, afraid that more will rain down.

 

“--- For now, I’ll have you sign up for independent study, and you’ll stay at our family timeshare in Pasadena until this whole thing blows over. It’s not safe for you right now.”

 

What mom means is it’s not safe for _her_ right now. The new election popularity poll is not on her side. She tells me the driver is coming to get me in the morning and I panic. She clutches her chest and tells me she loves me very much, but it’s hard to believe her when my mother is sending me away.

 

I don’t pack a lot of things, and thank god I have cash. I scramble in my room finding my phone. It’s in there somewhere. We haven’t spoke for sometime, and now more than ever I need someone I can trust.

 

He picks up on the first ring, and I hear a baritone voice on the phone. “Hello?”

 

“Ben, it’s me. Can I stay with you tonight?”


	3. If you are being used

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing crazy YET

**W** hen I look out of the taxi, I see that we are entering a bridge. I see a row of tattered tents. Some are the older, standard camp tents. Some are covered with blue tarp, and others were crafted from dirty sheets. I see a few people sit by a garbage can, the fire inside illuminating their faces in the dark. I don’t see a lot of homeless people wandering about at this time. It’s about eleven o’clock at night. I hope I don’t, and I hope that they are all safe.

It’s a forty minute drive to get to Malibu from Chatsworth. It’s only been ten minutes into this car ride, and I’m not gonna lie - I’m super nervous; and I’ll admit, I didn’t plan this through very well. There’s no going back from here.

It was a bitch to bypass security in and around my house, and not to mention the insomniac press people vulturing outside my house. No one gets their way easy and painless. So I dug the sharp end of my pencil into the red, crescent-moon cuts on one of my palms, tearing it open enough for it to bleed more than it should. I lie, and say that I ran out of gauze and shit like that. Panicked, security collects me in a net of safety and protection from the crowd outside, and take me to the nearest clinic. I lie some more, and tell them I need a restroom, and cry my way out until they abide and leave me alone. I never successfully lied before, and I never get what I want. I guess there’s a first for everything.

Except for the running away thing. I’ve done this a few times, but this time I had the decency to write Leia a letter.

I’m not very good at this first aid thing, or maybe it’s because I’m patching myself up in a backseat of a speeding Prius. I haven’t seen Ben since he left for college. I want to look _less_ like the charity case he saw ten years ago, but I’m failing at it. Apart from the shower and clean clothes I’m wearing right now, I look pretty banged up. Bruise on my left eye, cuts on the side of my neck from Kaydel’s bracelets on her forearm, scrapes on my cheeks - there’s a bit more but I’m grateful they are hidden under my 8 Mile get up. I don’t want to stress Ben out more than I already have.

He hesitated when I asked him if I could stay over. I know it was last minute, and he was probably busy with his friends - or a date. Oh god. I feel like an idiot. What if it was a date? Twenty minutes in, and I realized that I heard someone screaming on his line. Was it a fight? Shit - I interrupted his date. Oh no.

But he didn’t say no. But also, his “yes” wasn’t a definite yes either - more like a strained “yeah…sure.” I was on hold for a bit, and when he got back he didn’t ask me if I was okay - instead, he offered to pick me up right away. I was so relieved and grateful, but I couldn’t ask him to do that. It felt like I’m already asking a lot. Plus, there’s the security and the media patrolling - messy. The whole point was to get out, not go back inside. I heard him getting into his car and starting it up, sighing in defeat and reluctantly agreeing to just meet up at cafe a few miles from his house. I’m starving anyway. I thank him before hanging up, but I’m met with silence and then the dial tone.

So yeah, I’m pretty sure my brother is upset.

I feel the car jolt from a speed bump and it brings my attention to the “Welcome to Malibu” sign up ahead. The eeriness of the night fades in the background when I see the reflection of the pale, blemished moon on the glistening ocean next to me. It makes me calm immediately. I ask the driver if I could open the window and he lets me. My hand glides out and my surf along the wind. The tide is ebbing and flowing. The sound of it crashing violently against the rocky coastal plain should scare me but it doesn’t.

We arrive at Cafe Habana, and I part ways with the driver. He gives me one last glance, and I see the worry in his eyes. _I’m going to be okay, Mr. Unkar._ I’m standing in the parking lot and it’s empty. Do people not drive in Malibu? I check the time and it’s almost midnight and I’m cold. God. What am I doing? What did I do?....

Headlights beam their unforgiving shine on my tired eyes, and then I see a hunk of silver slow to a stop next to me. The windows roll down. Ben gives me a half smile.

“Hey, are you hungry?”

 

*** 

 

Ben orders for me. There’s way too many things on this menu and I can’t make up my mind. Except for a soda. I’ve been wanting one since my smackdown with Kaydel. Ben asks for a glass of water for me too. We sit in silence for a bit, but he seems relaxed. He is sitting across from me, one arm on the edge of the table while the other is resting on the comfy cushion of his heat. I feel his eyes on me, and I don’t know how to speak - where to begin. My eyes wander around the room, nervously. There are well dressed people with friends chatting about, waving their hands, laughing. There are people on dates. Fingers dance along the other’s hand, sitting across from them smiling, drinking wine, and eating their meals. Some look at me suspiciously. I don’t blame them. I’m here, a piece-of-shit teen runaway. I don’t belong here.

“What happened, Rey?”

I blink and my eyes meet my brother’s warm brown eyes, searching for answers in mine, and I immediately wish he could - so I don’t have to talk. His voice was deep, and rich, and soothing. He reminds me of Han.

I fess up. “I fought a girl in school and got suspended.” I showcase my visible injuries. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Exhibit C… Ben shakes his head, and chuckles.

“You’re my sister, after all.” He smiles.

Our order arrives and I take a sloppy bite of my burger. I recall the few times in my blurry childhood of Ben coming home, fresh from a brawl and covered in bruises and cuts himself. We might not be blood  _related_ , but we might as well be.

He takes a sip of my cola, and it’s like he inhaled half of it in one go. This better be refillable. “So who was it?” I’m mildly surprised Ben doesn’t know. I’ve been on the news since this afternoon.

“Kaydel Connix.” My response comes out muffled but I’m glad Ben can understand me.

“As in Michael Connix? Connix Banks?” Ben’s eyes go wide.

“Yep.” There’s no point in lying. I don’t see why I have to.

Ben tries to diffuse the shock on his face. “I went to school with his daughter, Michelle. She was a bitch too.” He nods in sympathy. We’re parallels.

“Yeah, so is her kid sister.” My glass of cola is empty and I feel just as empty from this conversation. I will myself not to feel this way. Ben went out of his way for me, I should return the favor.

I feel his thumb rub gently back and forth against the top of my fingers. It feels nice as I pluck a few fries from my plate and put them in my mouth chewing. His fingers make its way to my poorly patched up cuts on my palm and I flinch-

“Jesus Christ, Rey.” Ben croaks. His eyes fill with concern, and I look away quickly. I feel embarrassed. I don’t deserve his pity. Kaydel’s words really got to me. Maybe I am crazy. I attacked her. Rational people don’t do that.

I have trouble articulating words. My mouth opens and closes but nothing is coming out. Ben saves me by talking first.

“I did that too. When I was your age.” I look up at him, listening intently. “I’d get so mad, and hold it in. Only to burst and take it out on others…” He delicately zig-zags his index finger on the patch of my palms. “And myself.”

I nod my head in understanding and let him continue.

“And our parents not being around didn’t help. Especially Leia. Chasing an endless career - making changes in cities, helping strangers, taking care of others before her own kids. It makes me wonder why she even had kids in the first place.”

Ben’s eyes meet mine again - except his are determined to stay on mine, while my eyes water, sight wavering. He’s right. He’s totally right. But -

“But Han tried -” I argue. He’s always fun to be around, and he was always there to console me when I’m sad. I’m lucky I ha--

“Yeah, but he doesn’t remember who you are. That’s what Alzheimer's does to people like Han,” Ben deadpans.

“Deep down he knows us - and loves us. I know.” I’m defiant, fixing my gaze at him and I want this over already. When I stare at Ben, I see Han. I see so much of him in Ben.

“Here’s to hoping.” He leaves fifty dollars on the table and gets ready to leave.

“He’s the sweetest guy I know, Ben - and so are you.” I smile as I speak. His eyes twinkle with an unreadable emotion but his features soften.

“Well, at least you have me. I won’t go anywhere. I promise.”

I’m greeted by the smell of fresh balsam air freshener. I sit in the passenger seat and put on my seat belt. My backpack is cumbersome on my lap, but I hold on to it like a couch pillow. When Ben turns on his car radio, I’m immediately bombarded with a summary of today’s news, involving the incident from earlier, the Connix name and mine. Glancing at Ben, he mouths the word “wow” to me, in an impressed and slightly mocking way. I chuckle. Most people believe what people tell them -- not Ben. I briefly hear Michelle’s name. I keep scanning for other radio stations -- apparently she died years ago. Why didn’t Ben say anything? Ben decides to play something on his phone instead. We listen to the soft sounds of Bobby Caldwell.

 

***

 

“Rey, wake up,” Ben is gentle with me when he shakes me awake. I lift my head from where it was resting on his shoulder. He gives me smile as he tucks my hair behind my ear, then opens the door for me. I yawn and stretch my body - then straighten up when I see the view in front of me. It’s a beautiful, grand, avant-garde house. It’s modern - like it was designed for filming in mind. We walk through the front door and into the living room. I drop my backpack on the wooden floors. It looks spacious and sleek - I’ve never seen so much grey in my life. I dig it. There’s probably like four bedrooms or something, but I’d be happy just to crash on the comfy black couch ahead of me. I look back at Ben and I see him grinning in delight. Of fucking course - I’d be happy to live in a house like this.

“It’s great and all, but I get lonely.” Ben admits, shrugging his shoulder.

“No worries. I’m here! Well… At least for tonight. Thanks by th-”

Ben cuts me off, “Nonsense - you’re staying here. You nearly gave me a heart attack on the phone when you told me you were on your way here - _alone_.”

“But -”

“Rey,” he says, coming closer to me. “I think whatever it is that’s going on - just know that it’s a mistake. People make mistakes all the time. But you - yourself, you were never a mistake. I think that you’ve been burdened to feel that for a really, long time. ”

I don’t know what to say. He brings me to his chest and envelopes me into a hug.

“I think it’s time for you to stop feeling that way.” He rubs my back with his large hand in soothing circular motions. The kindness in his words move me because he believes in me so much, because he’s here, because he took me in, because for the first time in a long time, I feel like everything is aligned.

“I care about you, Rey.” Ah. So this is what it feels like. To be cherished.

I clear my throat and look up at him, he smirks.

“Thank you.”

He insists I sleep in his bed tonight, and weirdly I’m okay with it. I think of his dark brown eyes and warm smile and my heart flutters. Good thing he’s my brother, right? I’m so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments keep me goin~


	4. You should remain confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~*~ sHit sTaRts~*~
> 
> Mind the tags~~~
> 
> ~~~I'm sorry this took long.

**I** wake to the clattering of cutlery and the buzzing of a phone. When I open my eyes, I’m greeted by the natural light peeking from the blinds.

I’m used to waking up alone, but not like this. Instead of waking up in my junkpile of a room, in the blue, star-adorned sheets I haven’t washed in 3 years, I wake up in the middle of someone else’s big comfy bed, swimming in the comfort and serenity of soft black sheets. The smell of breakfast wafting into the room. A kind reminder that not only will I never have to eat vending machine snacks for breakfast - _ever -_ but that I’m not alone. _“I care about you.”_ Ben’s voice plays in my head. I feel warm and smile.

Ben calls my name from downstairs, accompanied by the clanking of pans and Motown music. I think about the way he held me last night and the way he looked at me. I felt so safe and so… _Happy_ . I try to remember the last time someone held me like Ben did last night, and made me feel _validated._ I don’t -- The buzzing of a phone interrupts my thoughts. I refuse to move from the warm bed. So without turning my head to look at what I’m doing, I lazily reach for my backpack, and fish for the strap to yank it up onto the bed. The zipper comes undone from being yanked, and my things pour out of my bag. Damnit. I reluctantly get up to search through the contents for my phone only to find that the battery had died. Great. Ben calls for me to wake up and come downstairs, and I respond that I’ll be down soon. It smells _so good_ downstairs. I hurriedly put back all of my things into the bag, except for my phone charger cord and my… I look through the stuff I just put away for my battery pack. I get on my knees to paw under the bed for it, and wince when I feel my cuts rub against the wood floors. My arm makes its way further under the bed and on the third feel, something scrapes the wood floor. Something dainty, with a clasp? I grab it and pull my arm back. A bralette accompanies my battery pack. It’s lovely - a dusty pink number with a tiny heart shaped gold charm on the center and gold accents on the lace. The clasps were bent, and the fabric was frayed -- as if it yanked off in a hurry. Like, _roughly_. I felt my face heat up. Is Ben dating? He said he was lonely… So he must be… I examined the bralette further and I pull out a strand of brown hair like mine. This doesn’t sit well with me.

“What do you have there?” Ben is leaning on the door frame, with his arms crossed and smirking at my wide eyes. How long has he been standing there?

“My battery pack,” I contemplate not telling him about the bralette I found. I have a weird feeling I wasn’t suppose to find that. But, he had been open and understanding with me, I’m sure he’d be okay if I told him… “...It rolled under the bed.” I held it up in my left hand.

“Okay,” He nods his head as he approaches me.

The bralette clasped in my right hand comes into his view and his smirk disappears. “I found this under the bed along with my charger pack. I - I’m sorry,” I genuinely apologize, feeling like this is none of my business. He must’ve had a date or something, maybe it didn’t work out? _Why do I feel relieved about this?_ Ben looks at me, and I can’t read how he feels. I look away from him. “Are you dating someone?” I blurt out - what the hell? “I’m sorry, I shou--”

Ben is suddenly squatted next to me, his dark eyes meeting mine. He takes the bralette and looks at it… Really looking at it, then his eyes are back on me. Calmly and slowly he responds, “No. No, Rey, I’m not dating anyone...”

It feels like there’s more to it than that, but he’s looking at my eyes when he said it - so, no- I’m sure he’s being honest. Ben smiles but his eyes are saying something else. He lightly pinches my cheek, moving it back and forth, like I’m a toddler. “It didn’t work out.”

“Sorry,” I muttered. I felt relieved, a little too relieved. Ben balls up the bralette in his other hand, and tosses it into trash bin by his door like it was nothing. He holds his hand out, and I take it as he helps me up.

“Alright, let’s have breakfast -” He starts leading us out of the room, and that’s when I remember.

“Sorry, Ben hold on.” I drop his hand making him turn around and stiffen. I quickly attach the USB cord to my phone and the other end to the battery pack, then dump it on the bed when I see the battery icon on the screen.  My hand went back to his, and he’s relaxed. Making our way to the kitchen, his fingers delicately stroke the cuts on the skin of my hands, looking at them. “We should do something about these cuts,” he suggests.

I’m greeted by the sight of scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes, and immediately reach for my plate. “Thanks, Ben!” I shove a piece of crispy bacon in my mouth as he pulls the seat for me to sit. I put a few more on my plate, and add a small stack of pancakes before sitting.

He sits next to me, sipping his coffee first before starting on his pancakes. I let him pour syrup on his pancakes before I do. Curtis Mayfield plays in the background, accompanying our breakfast. I could get used to this. I cut into my pancake stack and shove it in my mouth, chewing gracelessly. This tastes so good.

“Rey,” Ben’s deep voice rumbled against the music. “What really brought you here?” I put my utensils down and turn to him.

“I told you, I got into a fight and -”

“There must be more.” Ben studies me curiously. Is it such a shock I chose him? Actually, now that I think about it - _yeah_ , I don’t actually know him that well, and he doesn’t really know me either. We are practically strangers, but he’s family. I answer him truthfully.

“Mom didn’t give me a chance to explain myself.” I sigh, and while looking at my hands, I continue. “I got suspended ‘ _indefinitely_ ’ and planned to send me away to Pasadena to protect me. Because she _loves_ me.” I roll my eyes.

“I see.” Ben interrupts my thoughts. “But that doesn’t explain why here?” Hmmm, more like, why him? I only ever had Ben as my first and only choice. I don’t really have friends I can turn to. Except Finn, but I never considered asking him. Plus, he’s juggling a lot right now - he’s in his first year in college while supporting his family.

“You’re the only person I thought of. ” I say, looking up at him. His gaze is much softer on me than it was when we were in his bedroom. This is too much. I look away; “And you know how mom could get.” I poke at the saturated dip on my pancakes. I lost my appetite. What a waste of a perfectly good breakfast.

Ben rubs my shoulder. “It’s okay.” He takes a bite of scrambled eggs and swallows. His phone rings, and he takes it out of his pajama pocket. “Speak of the devil.” He picks up and I put down my fork quietly. I try not to make any noise. I want to hear what my mom has to say. A nervous voice speaks on the other line.

 _“Is she with you?”_ Yup, definitely mom.

“Yes, mother, she is.” I hear her sigh, then footsteps on the other line, and the sound of a door shutting.

 _“Let me talk to her.”_ No. _“Ben, please, I’m worried.”_ My brother stays silent, and so do I. Mom sounds super concerned, it’s almost believable. _“Ben, please, bring her back.”_ My brother stares at me, with a blank expression on his face. It makes me nervous. _“Please, Ben, don’t be foolish. Don’t--”_

My brother hangs up, and he looks like a million thoughts are racing in his mind.

I’m not sure what’s going on, but I rest my head on my brother’s shoulder and stroke his back gently to calm him. He relaxes at my touch. I accidentally dip my fingers on the contour of his lower back, and he twitches. Sorry. I stop and move away, but his hand sits on the top of my head, keeping my resting head on him. He begins to caress my hair from root to tip. Aaah. That’s nice. “Let’s go out today,” he suggests, and I look up. “I can show some of my favorite spots, maybe grab ice cream?” He looks down at me, smiling with his eyes. I nod excitedly.

“Alright, then. Get ready while I clean up.” He takes our plates and brings it to the disposal. I get up from my seat, and offer to help but he declines while shutting off the music. “Just get dressed.” I turn around and before I could take another step, he adds, “Hmm, maybe we can go shop?”

“Ben, thank you, but we don’t have to. I brought enough.” Three outfits. Two pairs of socks, a couple pairs of underwear, a multi-purpose shower bar. I’m good. He has a washer and dryer, right?

“It’s fine,” he chuckles. “I don’t mind. At all.” He brings his attention back to cleaning up. He’s total boyfriend material. How is he single?

“Okay.” Fine. But it will only be a few things.

I go upstairs into his room. I can hear the water running, and sloshing on dishes downstairs. The least I could do is fix the bed. I fluff the pillows and tug the black sheets back to their proper corners, then flip the duvet. A thud on the floor grabs my attention. My phone is lit and still charging, but there’s a bunch of notifications - missed calls and texts from mom. No threat of punishment, but she just wants me home. I think of Ben, and last night and breakfast. Why would I want to go back when I have it good here?  Some from Finn, asking how I am and what’s going on. The news app updates me on the new anti-bullying stance the Connix’s have incorporated into their campaign. Bullshit. More on my mother, explaining my actions on my behalf. That I’m sorry. I’m _not_ sorry. Not at all. I nearly chuck my phone in anger but stop when something catches my eyes. A voicemail.

 _“Rey,”_ Mom’s voice is hushed, and she sounds like she’s in the same room from earlier when he called Ben. _“You need to come home. It’s your brother...You don’t understand -”_ The mighty iron fist in a velvet glove chokes on a sob, and I’m immediately alarmed by the vulnerability in her voice as she pleads, _“Sweetheart, please come home. You aren’t safe with Ben… He’s--”_ My phone disappears from my hand, and Ben comes in to view, hovering over me with a smirk. He has my phone in his hand and turned it off, looking at me. I feel like I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing. In this angle my brother looks intimidating, with his eyes narrow and his lips now in a thin line. I gulp when his thumb touches the corner of my eye, and wipes the wetness away. He brings his face closer to mine.

“What happened to getting ready, hmm?” He finally speaks, and I can’t move to respond. What did my mother mean? As if nothing happened, Ben chuckles huskily, pocketing my phone. He leans forward to kiss my forehead and smiles at me, “When was the last time you did anything without having to check your phone?”

 _Last night with you._ But I decide to shake my head instead.

He leaves me standing by the bed as he ventures into his walk-in closet, and comes back with a towel. “Here, get ready and we can do something about your cuts after, okay?” He gestures to his restroom, and I head inside, placing the towel on the rack. I forgot my clothes. When I turn around I bump into Ben’s broad chest, and smell breakfast on him. He holds me steady. What? I thought he wanted me to shower first? “I’m just gonna grab my towel and razor. I’ll use the restroom down the hall.” Oh okay. He reaches behind me to grab his towel causing his body to move closer, and in that small moment, I enjoy the warmth emitting from him. He looks down at me, a soft smile appears on his face, and in the gentlest way his deep voice can get, he tells me. “I’m glad you’re here, Rey.”

“Me too.” He takes his towel and his razor from the shower caddy, then leaves me standing. Ben’s so sweet. My mom doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

 

***

 

We find ourselves in the nearest CVS, the shopping basket is filled to the brim. Maybe I should’ve gone with a cart. Ben keeps putting things in the basket without looking at the price. Alcohol, gauze, bandages, pain relief ointment. The ointment is ten dollars alone. I pick items that get the job done. Anything below five dollars is fine. I grab a shampoo and conditioner, a deodorant, loofah and body wash, and a toothbrush. I ended up using his toothbrush today because I forgot my own. He still ended up using his after, and he didn’t seem to mind. I would’ve. Same goes for the loofah.

I go to grab my wallet when we go to pay but he stops me, handing the basket and his card instead. The clerk stares at us funny, but Ben ignores it. I don’t think I really need other stuff in the basket. It totals to more than the thirty bucks I usually spend, and my brows furrowed. Ben puts a reassuring hand on my lower back and rubs soothingly, as if sensing my distress. I grew up poor before being taken in, so some habits are still there. I thank him, and we walk out with two bags each, but Ben still manages to hold my hand like guiding a child when walking to the car. I can’t complain though. It’s… Nice?. I reach for the handle of the trunk to open it but he stops me. We put the items in the backseat instead of the trunk. It’s probably easier to grab for later.

We have Thai food for lunch near Topanga Lagoon, and we order two different meals, but we agreed to split both so we could have half the other’s. I get up to wash my hands and use the restroom, while Ben waits for our food. When I arrive, our curry and noodles are set on the table, with our drinks. We sit next to each other instead of across, so sharing is easier. The ocean waves in our view are constant and amazing. Ben gets a phone call, and he picks up. I really wish he didn’t. Ben chats away, ignoring my annoyance. He laughs, and tells the person on the other end that he’s with me. Good. Maybe then he can hang up. “Yeah, we can finish up here and I’ll pick it up after. Thanks for letting me know,” he turns to me and wipes the curry off my lips with his napkin, smirking. “See you then, bye.”

“Who’s that?”

“A friend from work. I have to pick something up. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” I say as I mash the potato and carrots with the back of my spoon with little effort. I’m a horrible liar.

I guess Ben notices. “I’m sorry. It’ll be quick, and then we can get ice cream.” I shrug my shoulders, ice cream does sound good. “Then, I can show you my favorite spot here. The view is to die for.” He beams at me. He looks good like this, when he smiles for real.

“Okay.”

 

***

 

The ocean is gleaming along the Pacific Coast Highway. It’s a lovely view. The car hums as we exit the winding road, and pull up to park in a spot closest to a sleek building with large glass windows and doors. Ben scans the area for someone. People in blue scrubs and office wear walk around. Some chat about and others hurry out. I can spot a few people check their beepers. They still have those? My eyes land on man sitting on a bench, with red, floppy hair. He is wearing one of those blue scrubs. His skin is pink from the California sun, and he’s holding a package. He seems to notice Ben’s silver car. My brother spots him in his peripheral, opens his window and waves his arm out. The redhead jogs toward our car, and gives Ben a clumsy wave back as he grins.

“Here you go,” He hands the small but hefty package to my brother. “I really can’t be doing this--” What is it? The redhead turns his attention to me, resting his crossed arms on the car roof. “Who’s this? He simpers at me.

Ben goes to move our bags to make room for the package and places behind his seat, flat on the floor. “Armitage, this is Rey. Rey, Armitage.”

“Please, call me Armie.” He stares at me like a shiny new toy, and it’s unsettling. Ben straightens his back on the car seat, and sees what I see.Then, clears his throat, obviously irate.

“Thanks Armie, but we better head out.” He manages to say, his deep voice, even.

“Alright.” Armie steps back, tucking his hands into the pocket of his scrubs. Oblivious to my brother’s temper, or choosing to ignore it, he decides it’s okay to keep talking to me. “See you around, Rey.” Ben pulls out of the parking space before I could say anything.

 

***

 

I’m enjoying a strawberry mint gelato while Ben has a dark chocolate scoop in a cone. We are walking along the sidewalk by the sand, enjoying the cloudless sky and cool breeze. I wrap the edges of my cardigan tighter on my body. We settle into silence again. There’s so much of my brother I don’t know.

“Hey, Ben,” I pipe up, and after a lick of my gelato I proceed. “What do you do for work?”  

He takes a bite of his cone before he responds, “I’m an obstetric anesthesiologist.” I gawk at his words. A what now?

He chuckles then explains, “Basically, I consult the patient’s physician and help administer anesthesia to pregnant women during childbirth. I make sure they’re okay.”

I nod my head in understanding.

“There’s more to it than that-”

“Do you like your job?” Ben turns his head to my direction but he’s not looking at me, instead he watches the sun’s reflection glistening on the ocean.

“Yes. Yes I do.”

“What do you like most about it,” I’m looking at up at him. The natural light paints his skin a golden glow.

“I can afford to keep you.”

 

***

 

Our last stop brings us to a cliffside. The view is spectacular. The vast ocean turns violet as the sun sets. The sky shifts in colors, like a mood ring. Blue darkens the edges, and melts away the peachy hues. Ben rolls the windows down to let the ocean breeze in. We’re so close to the edge, and so high up, but I’m not scared.  This is exhilarating. I sit up when I see movement in the water and point like a kid. I see a tail, then a flipper. Wow.

I hear the trunk of the car shut, and Ben makes his way back to his seat in the car, rubbing his nose. He hands me an opened bottle of water and I drink from it. I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until I took a sip. I drink half of it before placing it on the drink holder between our seats.

This is nice, but there’s not much to do besides enjoy the silence. I turn on the radio and Al Green's voice filters through the speakers. The moon is pale yellow against the sky, and the tide is crashing against the jagged rocks below us. From here, the rocks look like clumped crumbs, scattered about on the edge of a bowl. Ben is sitting next to me with his eyes closed. I listen to the soothing sounds of Tired of Being Alone, and watch the sky turn ineffably dark.

 

“Rey,” Ben calls my name in the darkness of his car, and I turn on the lights. Doing so made me feel dizzy.

“Yes, Ben?” I slur. My arms feel heavy when I reach for him and he moves closer to me.

“How are you feeling?” He caresses the side of my face and I feel tingly.

“Good, just a little bit...Wavy…” I manage to mutter. My head feels like is moving side to side but I’m resting it on the headrest, right? The way my hand moves against the light is fascinating.

Ben chuckles darkly, “Silly girl. My silly girl.” It feels hot. Wasn’t it chilly a second ago? I move to take of my cardigan and I feel Ben’s eyes on me. “C’mere.”  He unbuckles my seat belt - pulls me from my seat, over the console and then has me sitting onto his lap. Water spills from the movement, wetting my skin, and it cools my overheating body. I feel Ben’s seat adjusting under us making more room in the front. “Did you have a nice time with me today?” I nod. He cradles me in his arms, then nuzzles my head. I squirm on his lap, and the sensation leaves me tingly, and good. I feel a warm hardness under me. Is this okay?  He grunts when I keep moving over him. I don’t know what to do with my hands. He moves them to his nape so I’m holding on to him like a buoy. I twirl his hair lazily, bouncing on him. His hips move up when I swivel down on him. The moan that escapes my lips surprises me just as much as his lips on mine, then kissing along the side of my face making his way down, and then back up. “God, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” His hands go from light touches to full on groping me. “So fucking soft,” he mutters against the skin on my neck. Everything is sensation and feels good. This is okay, right? I mean, he’s not really my brother.

His hands move to the front of my shorts, and groans. “ _Shit,_  feel it Rey.” He guides my hands down to where our clothed centers meet, and the fabric is damp. “You’re wet,” amazed, Ben undoes the ribbon on the thin fabric of my shorts, and dips his finger under, all the while I feel him rubbing against my butt. His fingers glide on the wetness seeping out of my underwear. “Fuck - you’re so wet. You’re so fucking wet for your big brother.” He pushes the fabric aside and his fingers rubs sloppily around my slit. I choke on a moan. I close my knees, oversensitive from the stimulation - but he stops me. “No - _no_ \- feel it. Just, just let yourself feel it.” His fingers go in a pattern, rubbing and dipping in shallowly, then pulling out in an angle so his wrist rubs against my clit. My breathing quickens and I keep squirming. My ears grow hot - from the sensations and the sounds we’re making. Ben is panting so close to my lips, and I whine from the feeling of something inside me -  like an elastic band stretched to the max. I hear myself getting louder. His fingers shove inside me suddenly, and I nearly lose my balance from the force of it, and I cry out in shock. Letting go of Ben, I try to get off him, but he holds me down trapping me between his strong arm and the steering wheel. “No! _No_ , Rey - Fucking- stay _still!”_  With his fingers still inside me, he emphasizes each word by thrusting deeper, and I sob, clenching my fists. It _hurt_. I tremble. What’s going on? Ben kisses my cheek, his nose resting on the corner of my eye, nuzzling. “God! You’re _tight_ -” The two fingers inside could barely move in me. He laughs as he tries to wiggle them inside, and I feel my walls squeezing them. My palms feel wet and sore; my nails are digging into my flesh. “Fuck! I can feel you.” He rasps. My eyes are watering from the intrusion. He keeps wiggling his fingers until I feel my walls give way. The elastic band sensation under my belly returns, and he pants along with me. “You like that? You like your big brother fucking you with his fingers? Huh?”  He starts thrusting his fingers in me again, and picks up speed, stroking something deep inside me that makes me quake on his lap, and all I can do is moan. He lifts his other arm off me, then I hear the sound of a zipper and friction on skin. Ben’s fingers scrape inside me, but it feels pleasurable, reaching higher and higher until the elastic band snaps -

My walls flutter around Ben’s fingers as I pant, and my vision is spotty. “ _Yes,_ yes! Fuck!” I hear him exclaim. The friction of skin increases and then I hear him grunting loudly. The skin on my face, chest, and arm are wet. Ben rolls his head against his headrest, panting, then laughing - in disbelief? He rubs his face, elated. “Oh my god.”

His index finger collects the dripping come on my cheek and brings it to my mouth. “Open,” he commands, and I do. It tastes bitter and metallic.

He brings me in for a tight hug. I maneuver my arms around him tentatively. Rubbing my back in soothing circles, he whispers in my ears, “Oh, Rey, we are going to have so much fun together.”


	5. To keep them amused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: dub-con/non-con; also 2 more chapters before some very bad, horrible things go down. 
> 
> I don't condone anything my characters do or say. It's fiction.

**G** roggy. That was the only way I could describe waking up alone in the familiar comfortable black sheets, like the entire day was a dream. The room is tinged light blue, and the door is slightly ajar. Light from the hallway sneaks inside. I can see my palms and when I flex it, feels tingly under the gauze that covers it. My skin feels cold and fresh, hair still damp. I’m trying to recall the previous evening but I’m drawing a blank. Ben is nowhere in sight.

I head to the restroom, and switch on the light and I’m horrified by what I see. There’s bruising on my neck and the skin peeking from under the large Pepperdine shirt I’m wearing. I tap on the red purple blotches on my thighs, anticipating pain, but I feel nothing. Upon closer inspection, there’s a cut on my lower lip, like I bit it. It stings. When I lower my hand, I accidentally drop a toothbrush, and I squat to pick it up. Searing pain shoots from between my thighs, making me fall forward on sink cabinet. I feel like I tore something deep inside me. Holy shit. What happened last night?

“Are you alright?” Ben’s arms uncross to scoop me up, carrying me back to the bed. There waits a fruit bowl, oatmeal, and a tall glass of water.

“What happened last night?” I take a spoonful of the fruit bowl, it stings the cut on my lip.

“You don’t remember?” He glares at me, offended. “You had so much fun.”

I lick my cut before asking, “I did? What did we do?”

“We had lunch out, then gelato…” Nodding, he elucidates. “You were probably really tired and crashed from a sugar high. You fell asleep in the car.” My memory flicks images in my head. Strawberry gelato. The open ocean from a cliffside. Beautiful, peaceful.

“Was this before or after the we stopped at a cliffside?” I take bite after bite of oatmeal. Maple and brown sugar pairs well with the fruit bowl. Ben looks at me, obviously nettled from this conversation.

“After,” his features harden, but his eyes are on my mouth.

“Okay,” is all the comes out of me. Ben’s probably right. I scarf down the oatmeal. I’m a deep sleeper by nature, but there’s still the gap in my memory between the car and waking up alone, with--

“I’m so proud of you, you know that?” His features soften, and I’m compelled to look him in the eyes. He takes the spoon from me, scooping mixed berries into his mouth. “Standing up to your bullies, leaving home. It’s a bold move. I don’t think I’d have the guts at your age.”

He brings his hands to my upper thigh, patting it right where there’s bruising. A little too close for comfort. “How did I get this?”

Ben chuckles, “I don’t know. You’re a pretty, clumsy girl. Plus your injuries don’t go away like that?” He snaps his fingers for emphasis. “You were so sleepy coming out of the car, bumping into things. It’s cute, but I had to help you. I patched you up the best I could.”

He’s right. I look at the gauze and bandages on me. I thumb the cloth on my left palm; “Thanks, Ben.”

“Anytime.”

I shift to make room for him on the bed, and move the bowls and glass of water to the bedside table on my left. He sits up next to me, resting his back on the headboard. He lifts his arms, welcoming me to snuggle him. I continue to snack while he turns on the television, flipping through channels, and we stumble on Leia on TV. I sit up straight. She’s addressing questions about my lack of presence. If my mother truly cared, she would put her reputation on the line, she’d ditch a day of campaigning or would have alerted the media about my whereabouts. She’d be crying for all of Chatsworth, and America to see. She’d track down where I am. _Come find me, mom._

Instead, she stands there, looking tired and seemingly detached. She looks down briefly, and the viewers at home would think nothing of it, but I know she’s being made to read something. This sucks. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t care.

Ben drowns out her voice. “She won’t come for you. I won’t let her.” I look up at Ben, his face fixed on the television screen, jaw clenched. His arm tightens around me, nestling me closer to him. “I won’t let her take you away and ruin a good thing.” Ben smirks, his finger trailing down my nose to the corner of my lips. My mouth goes dry, and I feel myself blushing madly. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. He’s just being affectionate. As a brother. I turn and reach for the tall glass of water. I take gulp after gulp of water, it was cool and refreshing going down my throat that I felt the heat from my face disappear. Bitter aftertaste though.

I tuck myself back into Ben’s side, smelling his deodorant. He smells like fresh pine. “What are you doing today?”

Ben twirls my hair around his finger. “I’m enjoying my the last day of vacation.”

“Oh. When do you go back?”

“Tomorrow morning.” I pout at Ben’s response. “We can do something today.”

“Like what?” I look up at him, hopeful to see the cliffside again.

He kisses the top of my head. “We can figure something out.”

 

***

 

It’s rather hot out today, and even the usual cool breeze in Malibu could not save me from the heat. I’m wearing a light green t-shirt dress to hang out with him today. It’s comfortable and breezy.

We are at a pop-up book sale on the Malibu Pier. I’m browsing the fiction section, and I have a growing stack of books tucked under my armpit. Ben’s browsing too, he’s got two books picked out. I like that we both enjoy reading. I spot a pink book with a purple open mouth on the cover and recognize it immediately - a Palahniuk. A hand bigger than mine grabs it before I do. Ben dangles it in front of me, and I almost drop the books I have.

“Watch out! It’s the thing that reads!” He jokes, chuckling as he lifts the book beyond my reach that I jump. I ignore the tiny stinging from earlier.

“Cut - it - _out!”_

“Are you wearing a bra?” He’s staring at me inquisitively.

“No - now - _give_ \- it - to me!” He finally lets me have it, but yanks it back to read the book, flipping at random pages.

Ben then tosses the book between his hands, grinning, teasing, “I don’t know, Rey, the subject content of this doesn’t sit well with me. This is straight up _porn_. How old are you?”

Defiant and proud, I answer him. “I turn seventeen in October. That’s next month.” I reach for it, and he pulls it back, away from me.

“So, sixteen as of now? Aren’t you a bit young for this?”

“I’ve read worse than that, dirtier even.”

His eyes go wide, in delight. “Like what?”

“Palahniuk has written about teenage sodomy… And killing women with sex toys - I know what sex is, Ben, it’s not a big deal.”

Ben gawks at me playfully. “Do you, now?”

“Yes.”

He meets me at eye level, smirking. “Naughty girl.”

I look away and my eyes land on his book selections. “Hold up, you can’t be lecturing me on my taste in books. You have _De Sade_ and…” I didn’t even have to find the title, the purple hand on the cover speaks for itself. “ _Exquisite Corpse_. I mean it doesn’t get more perverse than that. That’s _straight up_ sadistic _porn.”_

That shut him up. For a split second, I thought I upset him, but he just laughs, amused. “I’m impressed you’re well-read on this genre of fiction.” He hands me the Palahniuk book, and I clutch it tightly.

He looks at my lips like he’s watching for what I’ll say next, but I hold back, smiling victoriously instead. I bite my bottom lip, and his jaw clenches. Ben drags me to the cashier, and pays for our books, then we head to the car.

 

***

 

I watch the ocean blur into the trees, as we drive to our next stop. I feel drowsiness kick into high gear. Ben has the air conditioning on blast, making my skin prickle and my nipples stiffen. I ask him if he could turn it down, which he does but not by much. I cross my arms, and hold my shoulders to keep warm.

 

We find ourselves in a Macy’s shopping for clothes I can wear. Ben already picked out a few things. Mostly sleep chemises, sundresses, and bobby socks; all thin, light-colored, smooth fabric. Some ballet flats. None of this is really me though, but it’s the thought that counts. At least he lets me pick a baggy sweater or two. I don’t have the energy to argue with him, or even try on any of these clothes. He then drags me into a fitting room with him, which is better than the lugging around I’m doing. Thankfully the store is nearly empty. I don’t like when people stare and assume things. He drops my things on the seat inside, and my legs give out. I plop on the floor. I wanna go to sleep.

“Baby, are you tired?” I nod, looking up. Ben’s hair cover his face but I can tell he’s smiling. “Arms up.” His voice is gentle, and I follow, trying my best to lift my heavy arms.

He yanks my dress off me without any fuss, and I hear him breathe from his mouth. I feel the tip of his finger brush against my tits, and I shiver, closing my eyes. His finger gets replaced by the suckling, and it feels _really,_ really good. I cradle the sensation, holding it closer, a soft moan escapes me, as I tilt my head back.

“Have you done this before?” Ben whispers against my breast, palming the other.

I shake my head and confess, “No, this is the first time.” I try to bring his head back, but he gets up. I hear unbuckling and the sound of a zipper being pulled down. Fingers push my mouth open and I willingly allow it to dip in, letting my tongue slop around them. Suddenly, the fingers pull away and I’m met with a hard, fleshy thing. I choke around it.

“Shhh,” Hands go to the back of my head, gripping the roots of my hair, and going deeper. I move my hands around it to gauge its size and try to push it back, but it’s fighting me. It’s moving in and out at a pace that leaves me heaving. I feel it stab the back of my throat repeatedly.

“Take it!” My eyes are watering but I see the motion of Ben’s hips thrusting vigorously.  I lose control of my mouth, saliva dripping down my neck. I try to yank my head away, but failing. It follows me, driving harder and faster, making me gag and drool.

“ _Fuck,_ take it like a good girl. Be, ah, be a good girl for Daddy.” I wrap my lips around it, slurping obediently, closing my eyes. I’m rewarded with soothing rubs on my head.

“Yes - _yeah -_ that’s it.” He chokes when he feels the muscles in my throat relax, and I hear him groan. His motions on my head go rigid, and he’s breathing through his nose deeply. I suck on it like a nook. “Oh, _oh shit!”_

Ben grabs the back of my head, forcing cock as deep as he can. He explodes in my mouth, quickly filling my tastebuds with salty tang, and I swallow some of it as dribbles down my neck. His lips are rough and forceful on mine. I slump on the cool mirror behind me. Eyes flickering shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm sorry this took way longer than it should.
> 
> And, also --- I mean I reference De Sade. I think that's warning enough.


	6. Flourishing the fire with embers that won't fade away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the lack of updates. Trust me that I’m working on it. It’s been a tough month or so. I’m young, and I know I have a lot to learn. I’m open to positive criticism and suggestions. I’m not gonna mention anything more about myself. I don’t need to share anymore of myself to justify my writing. I just do things. I like dark fiction and playing with taboo topics solely for entertainment. I don’t intend to perpetuate abuse and rape.  
> With that please, please, please, take your time to read the tags and heed the warnings.  
> And ultimately, remember that there’s a human being reading the hurtful shit you say.
> 
> Thank you for your time, understanding, and support. 
> 
> This contains NONCON/DUBCON, violence, strong language, and drugging. Reader discretion is advised.

“ **A** re you okay back there?” It’s Ben, but it’s like I’m in a tunnel, hearing his voice from above. 

I blink my eyes open. Lights blur into lines against the darkness. Something tugs against my skin. The stench of salt in the air waft into the car, and Ben chucks a syringe out the window. 

My head throbs, and I feel sticky. The car jolts and I’m vaguely aware that I’m lying in the backseat. I feel nauseous. The leather of the seat is slick, making me slip against it. I sit up, flopping like a pool noodle —the car is speeding up. Are we going home? 

 

“Sweetheart,” Ben slows to a stop, at the dimly lit driveway. “We’re home.”

 

I can’t even open the car door. Moving is a challenge. What’s going on—

 

The car door opens and I slump out, falling into the pebbled ground. Ben slings me over his shoulder like a sweater. My brain wobbles in my skull. Ben smacks my ass then roughly rubs the mound. I hear metal slotting and turning, then a door opens.

 

“You’d love it here.” He sets me down on a couch? It’s dimly lit and whatever I’m on feels so comfy. I hear a buzzing in the background, lulling me to sleep. “No, no— don’t sleep on me, baby.” 

I feel a hand brush against my face, pushing my wet hair back. The same hand trails down my body, fondling my tits. He’s not my real brother. This is okay. It feels nice.

“My boss gave me the okay to take a few more days of vacation.” He adjusts me on the couch. “Just as long as I take pictures. He even let us stay here.” The buzzing from earlier intensifies. I can’t place where it’s coming from though.

My limbs feel like it’s filled with mercury. How he’s able to split my legs open is a miracle. Shaky hands unbutton the front of the dress I’m wearing. I don’t remember changing clothes. This one is a lavender silky material. 

He moves my hand to the lump in his pants. “Shit, fuck. I need to calm down.” With one hand freeing my breasts from the bralette, the other guides my hand on his straining cock, rubbing it against him in soothing circles. “Calm me down, Rey. Calm me down.” He’s whispering more to himself than telling me.

He strums my nipples gently until they perk up. I hear the flash of a camera, then another. I try to cover myself but Ben restrains me. He quickly rips the bralette off me, the elastic snaps painfully against my skin that I yelp. “Fuck, do - do  _ that _ again.” When I don’t respond, he slaps me hard across the face. Oh my god. Holy shit. That fucking hurt. I’m sobbing before I know it and curl up. He puts a knee on my stomach and pushes down to stop my squirming. He then wraps the bralette around my wrists tightly, and pulling it up, exposing me. “Oh,  _ baby _ .  _ Sweetheart, _ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to. I just… I don’t know...” A camera flash. “Shh, don’t be afraid.” Camera flash. “I won’t do this anymore.” Camera flash. “Just a few more, and that’s it.” My vision is blurry, but my ears don’t deceive me. A beep, and I don’t hear anything but breathing… And the faint sound of someone-- Ben is hovering above me, a flash of light shining down on me. I can’t see much when I look up, so I try to blink the tears away. I reach forward and I meet his torso, crying. The shirt smells so comforting, like the sheets back home in my room. I want to go home. Yelling emits from within the walls somewhere. Ben grabs my chin between his thumb and index, then kisses me sloppily. I can hear someone calling for help. What the fuck is going on?

He moves his lips to the top of my head, bunching the hair at the back of my head together, deeply inhaling before he puts the heaviest pressure on my forehead with his lips. “I’ll just share the photos, but not you. Never you. You’re mine.”

I rub my face against his shirt. It’s so soft and warm and nice. 

I’m suddenly hefted, my legs and arms wrapping around my brother’s torso. He nuzzles my nose, and I simper. The sensation of rubbing against him is soothing and pleasurable. I bury my face in his neck, rubbing my nose, getting lost in sensation. A belt clinks and a warm hardness pokes at my slit. “Do you like it when Daddy is gentle and nice?”

I nod my head, eager to comply, knowing to do nothing else. I don’t want him to slap me again.

“Good girl.” Ben slips the tip of his cock into me, then slipping out, and going in a little bit. “A good girl for Daddy.” He pins me to the wall behind me. Cold against hot. He bites me from the collar up. He rubs his cock against my slit. 

“This is happening. Christ. I’ve waited so long.” Cock in hand, he circles my clit with it. “I was reading  _ Exquisite Corpse _ while you were asleep for a bit.” His movements on my clit intensify, making me slump against the wall, vibrating. “Brite was right,” He stops to meet my eyes, and leans forward. “ ‘If you want something, you don’t wait for the world to deal it out.’ ” Holding my thighs apart, with a wild look in his eyes, he whispers, “ ‘ _ You take it. _ ’ ”

I split apart from the force of his cock, shouting. Blistering pain festers with each vulgar thrust, like I’m being mutilated from the inside out.

“Ben!” I find my voice. “Ah! Stop!” Ben goes in me rougher than before. I gurgle and sob, tears freely flowing from my eyes. Ben pants heavily, “Fuck! Damnit.  _ Fuck!  _ I won’t - last - long.” I moan in pain; my walls contract from the ache and exertion. I become more aware of my own voice, crying out. “Please! Ah!  _ Ben! Stop!”  _ I try to shove him away but he moves an arm around my back, curling to bring me closer. With a deep, forceful thrust, the pressure knocks the wind out of me. Ben stops to raise a free hand only to slap it down the top of my slit, sending me screaming more. 

“Yes! That’s it.  _ Scream _ .” He slaps down me again. “I want it to die in my mouth.” He slots his mouth against mine, muffling me. I am more aware now that someone else is here. I hear an the echo of screaming that isn’t mine. Holy shit. Where am I? 

Ben notices and slaps me on my clit. “Focus on Daddy, sweetheart.” 

“Ben, please,” This isn’t real. This isn’t real. He’d never do this. He loves me. Ben swells to a fullness in me. Groaning and twisting into me, the latent effects of pleasure start to bloom inside me. I wildly try to fight it, but soon I find myself convulsing around his girth, gasping and trembling. 

“Oh fuck! Yes! That’s it. That’s fucking it!” Ben’s eyes roll to the back of his head. Before I could stop him, he floods me with his cum. Groaning, he pulls my hips roughly towards him, thrusts jolting me as if he’s chasing the last traces of my orgasm. He shoves me off, resting against the couch, elated.

Wide eyed and sore from exhaustion, I slip onto the creaky floor. And that’s when I finally hear it coherently. Wailing. A shrill familiar voice. 

 

Kaydel?


End file.
